By Amanda Phillips
 Do you have a gremlin? Richard D. Carson describes a gremlin as "the narrator in your head" in his book, Taming Your Gremlin: A Guide to Enjoying Yourself. A gremlin is negative. My gremlin discouraged me from getting my driver's license. "You don't need it all that bad," it said. I wish I had ignored my gremlin and gotten my license sooner. My gremlin also thought it was a good idea, when I was in elementary school that I was not in speech constantly. I wish that I stayed in it consistently, instead of attending it in and out.
I am taming my gremlin. As an adult, my SLP asked if I would present at an all day workshop about stuttering. She said that I did not need to use index cards during my talk. My gremlin agreed, even though I became more and more anxious about it. Eventually, I took control of the situation and spoke up. I called my SLP and explained that to ad lib a presentation was out of the question. I did prepare index cards and my presentation was fun and successful.
As my SLP and I talk about the future, we keep meeting a gremlin that says, "Change is hard." This gremlin makes me tired, frustrated and angry. It reminds me that fear is uncertainty of change. I am energetic and insightful, yet, I have 100 reasons for not opening a GRE EXAM study guide I have at home. I recall how hard it was to take tests in the past. I am somewhat confident that, while it will be hard, I can pass the GRE exam. I wish my gremlin would stop reminding me, "You don't need it all that bad."
Change is easier when I am not doing it all alone. So far, I have attended three National Stuttering Association conventions and discovered that I have a lot of company. The NSA is people coming together to make changes in themselves and in the world. I'm not just talking about changes in speech. I'm talking about all kinds of personal self-improvement as well as making new friends, being a role model for kids who stutter and educating the public about stuttering. I am making changes in my life, despite what my gremlin has to say.
Amanda Phillips lives in Massachusetts. During college, she did four presentations on stuttering. She has a BA in Psychology and works at a biopharmaceutical company. Amanda has assisted her SLP with several workshops and has attended, so far, four NSA national conferences. She is a HUGE Boston Red Sox fan and also is a fan of the New England Patriots! (...and is very sad about the Super Bowl...)
Written by Amanda Phillips
Published by Russ Hicks
February 2008 |
